Mom, Save Me!

Sukhdeep Singh

‘Mom Save Me’ – Is Someone Listening? This is the voice of a child who wants to see this world. The child who is getting scanned in an ultrasound centre for gender determination and won’t be surviving if not a boy. This is serious problem now and I am talking about female foeticide – one of many ill causes which exist in current evolving stage of human living.

This term in itself envelopes myriads of meanings, it smacks of the fact that a girl is killed before she is born, or we can say the foetus is pre-determined to be that of a female; completely acknowledges the fact the technology is privy to this horrible crime; not to forget the effort and heart of doctors who are involved in judging the foetus and following it by abortion. And still we call our India – land of equal opportunity and equal respect for both the genders. The numbers in census are shocking and with ratio of 773/1000 (girls/boys) in city like Chandigarh, 821/1000 in Delhi and 874/1000 in state of Punjab are bounds to give a shock.; Incredible India is still not able to understand harshness it is pushing the humanity into.

Guru Nanak once said “So Kyo Manda Aakhiye, Jit Jamhe Raajan” [Why to say bad to someone who gives birth to Kings]

One of the reasons which can be talked about is illiteracy but then again, not whole of India is illiterate. Government of India did pass a prohibition of selecting sex before birth law in 1994 and was later amended and replace by prenatal diagnostic technique act in 2002 without implementing it with effect both the times.

Today, despite everyone aware of the fact that girls are equal to boys, emotionally more attached to parents, more responsible in society and by no means less competent than boys; still people wish to have a boy. The probability of going for tests and abortion increases in case of second and third child. On the land of Mother Teresa, Sonia Gandhi, Kalpana Chawla and every single woman who has excelled in respective field and made a mark in life, we need to uproot this evil from our home. Only then we have any right to say anything about it to world. When our own home is dirty, we can’t ask others to clean theirs.

The problem is far more serious than the steps being taken by government. Everyone is well aware of judicial system of Indian Law, by the time the cases are solved; many people have already left this world. Put yourself a question, if the same would have been done, when your mother or sister was coming in this world and had been aborted just because it was female womb, how would things have been for you?

All we need is change in Attitude, need to change attitude from considering girl as burden to girl as good luck charm. Be the change you want to see.

About Sukhdeep Singh: Born and brought up in Amritsar (Punjab), currently works as SAP Basis Consultant with a multinational company based out of Gurgaon. Sukhdeep is an avid quizzer and his hobbies include listening to soft romantic music,devotional music and collecting autographs. Sukhdeep has also worked with International Production House for Punjab Episode of  ‘World Cafe Asia’ airing on ‘Travel and Living’ Channel. One of his dreams, to spread the word of Sikhism and Golden Temple, is being carried forward through Amritsarovar Blog and he writes about his personal life sometimes at Zindagi Live.

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35 Replies to “Mom, Save Me!”

  1. Glad you highlighted this here sukhdeep! we all talk about open source and tech talks … but there are serious problems in the society. Not sure how we can contribute to this particularly, but eduction is the key …

  2. Very pertinent topic Sukhdeep and it really is a sad state of affairs as you pointed out. Just wondering how we can contribute towards stopping this from happen. Well, I already consider girls as good luck charm which is why I would rather say “Why to say bad to someone who gives birth to Queens”. Thanks for taking the time to write about this.

  3. Well articulated Sukhdeep. The world would be a better place if only we had more people voicing on issues like these rather than over some complete non-issue

  4. i have come across such people who are neither illiterate nor poor… they too have hang ups about a male child! Grrr…

    Kuddos to your post 🙂

  5. i agree that illiteracy is the root cause of this issue..
    coz..as a literate it makes more sense to have girl child than a boy..
    starting from schools..where KV’s n NV’s have lower fee for girls to boys..
    till they end up in a job..say Microsoft..where girls are preferred on a same merit scale..
    whom would u want to hav as a child..a boy or a girl?
    Decision is in your hands..

    I would go for a girl child..!!

  6. The social issues highlighted above, go un noticed these days. Our leaders are more interested in what come on Television, more over they have social and personal insecurities.

    The entire country or some bunch of people like you Sukhdeep, should voice up your opinion .

    I Support you!

  7. I appreciate your thoughts and and looking at replies left by people I can say that people are much more sensible these days. So people, post your views as a symbol of vote for a BABY GIRL 🙂

  8. Really thought-provoking one !!!…Many incidents in society that we come across which were never decided but determined by many…. some false-beliefs,dowry,education for unprivileged.. and many..

    I say this is a good start !! – Go ahead 🙂 Kudos..

  9. Very well said Sukhdeep……..
    i think its illiteracy coupled with ignorance thats the root cause of this problem…What we need is some awareness and enlightment amongst the rural and importantly the so called elite class!!!!!

  10. Very well raised issue. We read many related articles in newspapers and magazines but just forget after sympathizing for a while. It is really a sad part which needs to be looked upon. We say girls and boys are same but society has always kept the difference.
    Sukhdeep, even if girls are given birth, the other sad part is they are not given priority as compared to boys. For example, some parents push boys for higher education as they think its worth spending and investing in them and they marry girls just after their teens.
    Girls are Lakmi’s and brings Luck. Hope everybody realize this and be content what God has Blessed with.

  11. Though illiteracy might be the root cause of this, I’ve heard about a lot of well-educated families who have aborted/abandoned their female off springs. I believe it is the mentality of the people that leads them to take such an inhumane step. Some people even seem to think a girl child can hamper their social prestige!!!
    It all basically depends on the upbringing of these people and the society they live in. The situation has to improve a few years down the line as more people come to their senses!!

    Wonderful post 🙂
    Tussi Great Ho Ji !! 😉

  12. Change in attitude starts from within and no external influence can really do anything if people continue to hold their notions of having a son is the ‘ghar ka chirag’ so close to the heart.

    Wish to see India change its heart towards the girl child!

  13. a very well written piece indeed… being in the medicine field myself i cannot over emphasize the need to educate the masses… kudos to you, cheers!!

  14. Hi, very important topic raised here. In fact this trend is not only in rural areas rather I have seen fetish for male child till date amongst urban educated class too. Yea, I agree action as extreme as foeticide based on gender discrimination maybe predominantly existing in under developed areas but the attitude like “male child is a must” exists in many segments till date. Sad yet so true it is :(. And I agree we need to be the change which we want to see…I for sure know that same will be true in my case whenever I’ll enter that phase of my life.
    Very nice post Sukhdeep!

  15. @Annkur,@Ashu,@Pooja, @Sachin, @Sakhi, @shackler,@Archana,@kanupriya

    Glad you liked the post.Happy to know so many others think on same lines and are concerned about the problem. Together we can and together we will make the change we want to see.

    @Srinivas

    Kudos for the decision taken and Thanks for the comment.

    @Mohit

    Agree Mohit.People are much more sensible today. but lot more people need to be made aware about this.but this is a start and the motion goes stronger with each comment. Thanks for the comment.

    @Vinaya

    Agree with your point. The Elite Class and the rural class are major contributors to this evil and need to pass a strong message to both of them to change their views and ideology towards girl child

    @Jassimar

    Thanks for the comment.

    @Anu

    The situation needs a change and a rapid change else there will be a time when there will be one girl and 10 boys fighting for a marriage. :p Jokes apart, the situation is serious and we need to be careful and alert not to let such case happen atleast around us and in circle we know

    @Hina

    Same wish to see the changed India with its heart towards girl child 🙂

    @Harman Boparai
    Thanks for the comment doctor.

  16. Thank you Sukhdeep for raising this very important issue.

    Thank you everyone who came, read and commented.

    We hope that people will leverage this platform to spread such social relevant issues.

  17. Awesome post with right words n thoughts!!

    awareness should be spread among people for this!!!

  18. Great Job done!!!

    Really a good topic and excellent write up…..Nice to read this, but sorry to say lot has to improve in our coutry to bring awareness…and control such things for our better future!

    really appreciate your efforts !!!

    Cheers:)

  19. Well framed and well expressed.

    Discrimination has always been influencing our Society wether its caste, Religion or gender.

    we cannot assure life to all those baby girls who are yet to see the world outside but yes we can put in efforts to bring some improvement in our country.

    You have initiated it and we all will take it up 🙂

  20. Thank you and thank you is all I can say for this post.

    Because it touches a chord. This is exactly how and why NGI came up as a forum where we wanted to discuss this.

  21. Great post..wish i had read this before writing the post ‘two poems FOR a girl child…’

    Thanks for the post..the post(hence the cause) deserves a larger audience…

  22. This is an attitude that is prevelant not only in India but also in a lot of soceities (The Arab World is a prime example) and is similar to girl infanticide that was practised in the Arabian Penunsila in the pre Islam era.
    The fixation of having sons, someone to carry the family line and retain the family wealth, considering most countries will allow women to use their maiden names after marriage and own property, the argument sounds very stale. The result will be devastating to society that will end up with a gender mismatch that will hamper the healthy development of a balanced soceity.
    As a parent who has both sons and daughters, I find daughters to be more attentive and more doting and probably will be there for us in our old age.

  23. Kudos Sukhdeep for chosing this topic.. I believe that we all should take some steps to weed out these sick attitudes of the people.. and u surely took that step.. I hope it reaches out to a larger audience..
    And I sincerely hope that people just dont read it and close it.. They should actually feel this..
    And for this all of us have to stand up for the cause..

  24. Sex selection is only a symptom of a deep rooted bias. Unless the attitude changes, this will continue, and attitudes can’t change until we think only sons can take care of the parents.

    Sons and daughters should be given equal rights and responsibilities – and both should be legally expected to take care of the parents – once parents see the daughters as a asset not a liability they will not remain so desperate to get them married at any cost (dowry, abuse, risk of being burnt alive, abandoned, made to live with a second wife or a mistress etc) – this also means the traditional Joint Family system where a girl is expected to forget her parents and family must go. So long as girls are seen as ‘paraya dhan’ – to be trained to be care givers in their husbands’ families this is unlikely to change.

  25. That’s very true indeed. Sukhdeep change in attitude is an evolution process and may be we need two more generations to fully get into such kind of mindset. We are at threshold of egalitarian society.

  26. Female foeticide
    The new tag earned by Indians is eating up the human values,and is against the Natures law for Human spieces. We are rushing madly toward our dooms day. I am ashamed to tell you that Punjab is in the lead. I being a Punjabi it is matter of regrett. I am a social activist so i am deeply hurt. I am organising a seminar on Female Foeticide with my Community ” SAINI WELFARE ORGANISATION ” on the eve of New Year. I will be glad to receive your comments on this issue, I will take oppertunity to display your messages during the function. I appeal to all Indians to stand put and defy any such attempt by so called social class who is in favour of such a mean act.
    How ever I am also submitting a poem I have written on this topic.

    The Unborn Daughters.

    We live in land of gods & goddesses,
    We worship them for Prosperity and solace.
    We look for our prayers be heard,
    Prayer to beget a son.
    Sons’ who will keep the race growing,
    We want happiness flowing,
    We want our race going,
    Here daughters are unwanted,
    That’s why thousands are aborted,
    Strong obsesses-ion for a male,
    That all our faith we subscribe, fail,
    Killing is crime we know ,
    But not a bit of remorse we show,
    Our insanity know no bounds,
    Mercy is nowhere found ,
    Killing them before birth,
    Is killing Mother Earth,
    Dreaming of crops to grow?
    Without our roots, we’re unable to grow.
    Un-thinkable , without a womb?
    That’s why Medico’s ‘re on job.
    In mothers, we see incarnation of God,
    Give me a son , O my Lord!
    Hippocrates, we are ,
    We love our mothers a lot,
    But rearing foetus without mothers, is our newfound plot.
    Birth Engineering is new study on cards ,
    Hospitals shall be sans female wards,
    Daughters & sisters will exhibit in shows,
    Sons will grow in rows,
    We are gentle , but without a heart,
    Sisters, we love you great !
    We want her ,for our needs,
    But still , in womb she bleeds.

    And still we say God is great!
    Great indeed ! He is ,for letting them be killed,
    With those who are our ill-gotten skilled,
    Thinking , He’s with us to share,
    Guilty are we ,plundering the Nature,
    Guilty are we ,of slaughter of Unborn Daughter,
    Guilty are we , offending the rules “He” précised,
    Still we call us civilized?

    Daughters indeed make us proud ,
    Proud are we of her achievements,
    But we shall not let her born.
    Earlier it was dowry , now its their life,
    Where will your sons could find their wives?
    We are ready with our sharp knives,
    But , daughter should die,
    We want to suppress their painful cries,
    Let’s make real vows ,
    Never can we walk with one sided shoes,
    Never can we prosper with unborn daughter.
    Let us welcome our beloved daughters.
    With them is future of Man.
    Let’s pray should’nt that worst dream ,come true,
    Forgive us God , for ill -gotten thoughts.
    We pray for wisdom ,O Lord!

  27. This happens here even today..only because of the way the society hold.Most of girls both from lower classes or upper classes, their aspect of living is marriage.In every possible way they are projected towards the very GOAL..should behave like that,eat like that,wear like that,do like that..etc etc..only for the prospect of having a goood groom. good enough reason for the family not to add another female member.

  28. Really Sad to see this happening…. People are so uneducated that they would not change their ways… Having a girl in a western country is no different than having a boy ….

  29. The same thing happens in some places in China. People still have this idea that if they don’t get a son their “Family Name“ will stop passing to their grand children. That is one of the major reasons the government doesn’t allow people to scan baby’s gender before the baby is born. However, this is not the best solution. People need to be educated and education plays a very important key to open people’s mind.

  30. Happy to learn about your thoughts. We at Sukrut Systems are also battling with this social evil in our own certain way through silent observer device. This in parts have been proved effective enough however we are yet to see the long term results of the use of this technology. In the end, the law and other methods wont solve the problem, it is the change of our attitude towards this issue which will be key to resolve it. God bless !!

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