Our Sources have some very exciting news for motorists across India. The Traffic Police are contemplating having a monthly pass system for offending motorists which will enable them to streamline the funds and save motorists time and tension when they see a policeman. π How is the idea? #Fakingnews. Time to read some #perkytweets and smile this Monday.
@OmkarDash
Kerosene, LPG, Petrol, Diesel. In short KLPD.
@sidin
Apple crackdown on Indian media: my laptop is out of battery charge.
@bitchwanti
Married friend wants me to get married because she got married and apparently there’s a shortage of good guys.
@madversity
Wait till you see Ranbir’s son and Siddharth Mallya’s grandson interviewed. By Simi Garewal, of course.
@r_nikki
Women’s Football World Cup begins. Unfortunately, guys don’t enjoy watching women kick balls. Of any kind.
@greatbong
Next year IIFA awards for best debut will go to the Abhi-Ash baby.
@freegeek
The only person allowed to ask “Have I made it large?” should be your bartender.
@skinnytoad
I was looking forward to this tube of Pringles, but there’s only three in there and they’re all tennis
@vadakkus
Hope Federer will gift Tendulkar something tax-exemptable or saleable.
@Raheelk
Is any Indian Middle Class child in School or are they all competing in dance and music reality shows? #justasking
@amreekandesi
Rajnikant can watch back to back episodes of Balika Vadhu without tearing out a single hair.
@yesnosorry
I just don’t get the point of Noida. Everybody looks like they’re plotting a crime.
@Vidyut
hahahahaha neighbours had guests. Pestered kid to sing song. She sang “bhag bhag DK Bose” ROFL no more requests.
@kamaalrkhan
Why do all the beautiful girls are having boyfriends? Not fair.
@suhastech
Parents never get tech..just overheard my mom on the phone “my son got an ‘STD desire'” *facepalm*
@vsengupta
Afghan officials coming to Gurgaon to learn urban planning. Heavens help them.
@CruciFire
There is a thin line between a microscopic line and a medium line. #fb
@knittins
@cornerd God (Sammy) had a role to play in the Dravid epic.
@shakti_shetty
Watching Sharapova play is like listening to porn.
@Rohneet
Doordarshan symbol is indecent. It symbolises 69.
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